A Willing Sacrifice

Today marks three days of being facebook free. Although I know that this blog will be fed automatically onto my page without me doing anything, so there is still a little connection there. But I have not spent nearly as much time these past few days in this technological world. It actually has freed up quite a bit more time than I thought. My focus has been able to be changed a little bit at a time to focus more on God and less on filling my time with things that are not really as important as getting to know the creator of the universe.

The focus this week has been on giving up those things that are holding me back from completely living for him. I have realized that a lot of what is holding me back is my attitude and my patience level. Whew...everyday this week I feel like it has been completely tested to the max. In my daily interactions, in my leading of a service project, in my communication with others. There is this overlaying attitude of just negative thoughts and feelings. Where does it come from? I think that it has something to do with trying to give up everything, that is when you feel everything so much more right? When I am trying to live for God, that is when I am bombarded with thoughts and feelings that go against Him the most.

This week has brought sacrifice...nothing compared to the sacrifice of Jesus. The pain and humiliation He felt hanging on the cross. Nothing can compare to that, but I hope and pray that in these next few weeks leading up to the celebration of his life, death and resurrection that I will be able to sense even more and grow closer to Him. My life is not my own....why does this concept feel so hard to grasp. It seems the harder I try to give it up and let God lead me, the harder it is to give up.