No fear in love...

It is Valentine's Day, Wow! This is my 28th Valentine's Day and as I reflect on today I have to say that it was probably one of the best. Not because I did some crazy fun thing, but just because it was not a day when I felt like feeling sorry for myself. I have come to realize that I need to just accept things as the Lord has given them to me. Yes, it would have been nice to have that special someone to spend the day with and to hang out with, but you know instead I got to hang out with a couple pretty cool people.

We ate lunch and then went to see the movie "Valentine's Day." Go figure-it was actually a pretty good movie. Despite a couple of parts at the end that I wasn't too excited about, but it gave me time to think and reflect a little bit. I do admit that part of me was wishing I had a story to tell. Then the other part of me was looking at their (the people in the movie) lives and seeing how much easier mine is. The reason? I don't have to try and make things work out how I want them to. Why? Because God already has my story written. You see I face being content on pretty much a daily basis. I mean one minute I am okay with my state of singleness and then another minute I long for a "best friend." You know that person that you just click with, who can read you and you can read him and he challenges you to know God in a greater way. That is the man I am waiting for. It occurred to me today that God may not give that to me for awhile. On the other hand I am praying for it to happen quickly. What is being content, really? Well I think it is being at peace. Peace comes from God, so if I am allowing God to fulfill me then I am going to have peace. My life is going to be in God's will and I don't have to try and control every aspect or really any aspect.

This is a lot easier said than done. Reading through a friend's email today I realized that most of my actions that cause harm to others or mess up things are done out of my emotions. It is always my emotions that allow me to write that email or make that phone call, that in the end probably shouldn't have been written or made in the first place. For a lot of my emotions are caused by fear. Fear of being alone, fear of being rejected, fear that if I don't take control, well then my life is going to spin out of control. In reality I should not fear, because in 1 John it talks about Fear and that there is no fear in love, but in reality love casts out all fear. If I am truly loving God, then I don't need to fear. God is my light, my portion and my hope. I just have to trust Him and lean on Him, for He already has my story written. It is a great story and one day I am going to be excited to share it with all of you. Until that day though, I wait and hope and allow Him to use me to serve, to grow and to Worship.

So, although everyone says this is just another Hallmark holiday, I sort of give it two thumbs up because I think every year it causes me to reflect and think. This might be the first year though that I can say I am happy and satisfied in God's love. Yes I am waiting for that story, but you know what? I can rest being in the middle of it, knowing that it is God's hand that is writing and not mine.