Not sure what true wisdom and discernment is

There I was on an island for a week staring out at the beautiful sea. Not really having a care in the world other than whether a storm was going to blow in or not to mess up my thoughts and time out in the sunshine. But truly the island I think is what saved me. It saved me from going into a deep depression and from seeing the world through my own eyes. For really and truly it is not about me at all. This past week went so fast. I am not even sure what all happened or how it just disappeared before my very eyes. Isn't it though so amazing how just when we are at the end of our rope the Lord gives us a push and just lets us breeze by. For I thought coming back from vacation was going to be so tough and I just wasn't going to have the energy or patience to handle attitudes that 6th graders sometimes have. The truth is that it was a really good week. Besides a couple of kids that really pushed my buttons far beyond what I would have liked it was geniunely very good.

Here is where my title of this blog comes in though. There are some things going on in my life right now that I just do not understand. Relationships that I thought were going one way and then it seems they are going another. My thoughts about my job keep flipping back and forth. Do I teach science for another year or doing something that I feel like I would be better at? How do I truly discern what is the Lord and what is just my own thoughts and feelings. As I think back to the surroundings of the Malaysian beach I am in awe of how the Lord spoke to me. It wasn't through this audible voice but just knowledge of what he was saying. What happens though when he is silent? I am unsure of how to get the answers when what I am hearing is nothing. I understand that I am just supposed to wait. But I am sort of tired of waiting. What do I do when I really just want to know. Wait....

So discerning from His wisdom and human wisdom I think might be one of those mysteries that I continue to ask as my life proceeds. For I am truly unsure of what or where He is speaking. All I can do for now I guess is wait and listen....