The frustrations turned to realizations...

Today I was getting off the BTS and was just really annoyed. I was annoyed at being in a place where people worship trees and the fact that around every corner there is a statue or spirit house with offerings that to me do not mean anything. I was annoyed at the fact that people rush on to the BTS when those of us getting off still have yet to get out of the door. I was annoyed that when going down the stairs someone pushed right by me and then again when I was in line at the book store I had barely got finished and this lady just pushes me out of the way to lay her books on the counter. I was just annoyed.

So, what was my response to this annoyance, well I decided to just go home and get some work done. On my way though I got out the magazine that I had just bought. Time, magazine. Now I am not usually a Time reader but I decided that I needed some information in my life and it was one of the cheapest English magazines available that were worth my time. As I turned to the first page it was about this basketball player for Harvard. Normally I would have just skipped it, because basketball is not really that exciting to me. Instead I started reading it and was actually enjoying it. Then I got to the bottom part where it talked about this basketball player being a professing Christian and something hit me.

God is working! I may not see it on the streets or even in the way people push past me to get onto the BTS, but he is working. Why do I constantly think that my life is the only one that matters? That if I can't see the results of my work or other people's work immediately then that means that nothing is happening? I think it is because I am so focused a lot of times on the negative that I forget to see what is happening or what has happened in the past.

I get annoyed quite a bit by things that happen in this part of the world. I don't really understand Thai culture a lot of the time and instead of seeing it for what it is I try and compare it to what I know. This is normal and I don't really get down on myself that much for it because I know that everyone does it, but I must say that I need to give more understanding. I need to bow my head a little more and pray when I get annoyed instead of just showing it on my face and expecting for things to change overnight. God's timing is not my timing and His patience is more than mine will ever be. This is why I must live in Him. For when I try and do things my own way or with my own power that is when I get into trouble.

I have had a lot of thinking time this past week. Not that life has been less busy but I just have allowed myself more time to process where I am at on this journey. I am finding myself at a place of ups and downs. One minute I love it here and just want to dive into everything that God is showing me and then the next minute I want to go somewhere else, meet new people and have new experiences. The ups and downs are just crazy. This does not mean that my life is horrible. In fact I think this means that my life is normal. There are going to be trials and there are going to be times of annoyance. It is what I do with them that counts.

I guess my lesson for today is that I learned that I need to realize God more. I need to see Him. I don't just need to see people around me, but see Him in those people. They are His creation, He is in them. Sometimes I forget to look. May this week be a time of looking...